Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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