I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
