So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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