Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
