she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
