Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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