no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
