you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
