Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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