he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize