i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
