oh fat girl friday strikes again...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
