All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
