Welp...herpes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found puke in my bra..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
