I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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