i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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