he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
