I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
