I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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