Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
