i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize