half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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