I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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