new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
