I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
