he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
