I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
