So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
