I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
