If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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