I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
