I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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