Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
