I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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