you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
