All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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