My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Randomize