Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
