I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize