i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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