his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
