Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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