I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
