I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
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Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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