I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
