maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
