so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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