This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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