My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
