i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
