no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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