I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
