Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
