this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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