We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
