Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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