Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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