ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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