Screwed.edu
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
