How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Too much gin, very little bucket
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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