Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
