Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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