State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
